Last month, I told y’all about how my One Little Word for 2014 was joy. My goal was to try and find the joy in everyday life, from my relationships to my work to my hobbies, etc. It’s practically March, and to be quite honest …
I am not feeling the joy.
Now, this is a generalization. I am utterly happy in certain aspects of my life and kind of miserable in others. My relationship with Colt is still wonderful, and that part of my life is the place in which I find most joy. Our home life, although it’s been super busy for the past few months, is full of love and laughter, with, of course, the occasional squabble thrown in. (I’m a firm believer of the thought that if there aren’t occasionally arguments in a relationship, there’s something wrong.)
I’m also quite happy with my friendships—even though I haven’t been the most accessible friend on the planet lately, I know this—and my contributions to FYA. The three F's (family, friends and FYA) are definitely places where I can turn to for a boost of joy.
The not so great parts of my life, however, are taking their toll on these happy places. I’m feeling stressed and uncomfortable and worried and guilty and … I could go on. I’ve long had a hard time expressing my feelings, particularly those of the anxiety-driven variety, in a healthy manner. I feel like I’ve got a little black storm cloud hanging over my head; I can sometimes push it away, but it’s just waiting for the next time I let my guard down to return.
I know that this blog has suffered in the past few months. I’ve started contemplating making some changes that will hopefully bring back my inspiration and create a better space for all of us to “hang out.” I love having this space as a creative outlet, and I love the friendships I’ve made online. The changes I’ve been thinking about are a work in progress, of course, but I promise to try and make more of an effort in the not too distant future.
Yesterday, one of my favorite online inspirations, Kyla Roma, shared a heaping dose of great ideas and motivation in “How to get back to kicking ass if the year is getting away from you.” In her post, Kyla offers four steps to getting a handle on life. One line that really stuck out to me was:
“When you’re living in your head instead of in the moment, it’s easy to get distracted by things that don’t matter, get derailed by your worries, and be less than present in your life. And who wants to live on autopilot?”
I don’t. I really, really don’t. And it’s apparent from the comments that I am not alone.
It might take me a while to see the joy in all aspects of my life, but I’m going to try and start concentrating on what currently brings me joy rather than trying to get a handle on making everything shiny all at once. It’s time for me to start making plans and following through, instead of worrying about the “what ifs” and not being in control 100 percent of the time. I hate uncertainty, but I hate being miserable more.
Baby steps. I can do this.
What brings you joy? It can be as simple as a smile or as large as the fact that Texas’s ban on same-sex marriage was just struck down by a federal judge. (HELLS YES.) Please share in the comments!