August 20, 2012

Haiku Review: The Expendables 2

The Expendables 2 (*****)

Guys get shot in half
Action heroes united
So many good laughs

POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD. Ridiculous action movies are some of my favorite things ever, and in 2009ish, when the first Expendables was announced, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. While I've not seen all of the cast members' various movies, just the fact that they were all getting together for one movie made me grin. And I, of course, loved it.

When it was announced that an Expendables 2 would happen, I squee'd. The first one had been awesome, and the addition of Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and more Arnold Schwarzenneger and Bruce Willis to the original cast of Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Terry Crews and Randy Couture made me think that the second installment would be nothing short of amazing.

I was right.

Case in point: After the credits had rolled and I was discussing the movie with my friends, I announced that I'd enjoyed it immensely. "No really," was the response. "We could barely hear the movie over the sound of you laughing." TGG later tweeted, "Expendables 2 was pretty great. Not sure what @mandyannecurtis thought. She was laughing too hard to answer."

I can't help it. Something about the combination of ridiculous action and cheesy lines make me giddy. And the jokes! The jokes in this movie were ten times better than the first one. The writers have done such a good job of balancing the plot and the poking fun at the stars' previous roles and actual lives.

To sum up: Lots of blood and bullets, aging action stars who can still kick ass, cheesy jokes that are actually funny and a little bit of plot. Makes for one very entertaining movie.


  1. I just squee'd because you did and then wrote the word squee'd haha, I love it!

    I need to see this film!!

  2. My haiku:

    Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
    Punch, kick, chop, throw, pummel, stab
    EXPLOSION! High five!

    1. Forgot the last "Blam!" in my original post. Without that we would have needed an extra "stab" or "punch" probably.

    2. You sir are a poetic genius!

    3. Man. That puts mine to shame. And really does the movie justice, too.