August 10, 2011

Weighty issues (A healthy living update)

Disclaimer: This post might be a little more honest and heavy than my usual fare. And no pictures! Crazy.

I haven't really talked about the healthy living kick/weight loss challenge that Colt and I are involved in since that first post on the detox when everything was first kicking off.

Since the detox, we've gone back to eating most foods, in moderation, but are continuing to limit carbs and sugars. I've been trying to exercise 6–7 days a week (curses on your ancestors, Jillian Michaels), and Colt's been riding his bike and taking classes at the Apple gym. We've both taken this seriously, and our efforts have paid off.

While it's nice to see the numbers getting smaller, this kick we're on isn't about the number on the scale. It's about how we feel in our own bodies. I've struggled with weight and body issues for much of my life, like I'm sure most girls of all shapes and sizes have.

I'm 5'6", and blessed/cursed with muscular legs and not-so-small boobs. At my smallest (as an adult), I weighed in the 120s. This was also the period of time where I was the most unhappy, to the point of needing counseling and starting on prescription anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicine. In my head, being super skinny isn't associated with good feelings, and yet, I yearn to look better. It's a strange set of contradictions.

I eventually worked through my feelings, and as I got over them, I got heavier. I felt better, and I didn't mind how I looked in the mirror. I eventually even started liking what I saw.

Before we got married last October, Colt and I tried to be healthier. I lost about 10lbs through working out, but I was more worried about all the details of an out-of-state wedding than I was about eating right. After the wedding, we both got lazy, and each put on 10–20lbs. We both like food. It's also something I turn to for comfort. And when I get lazy, I don't much pay attention to the fact that I could be eating better.

This additional weight, while it wasn't much, took me to my heaviest, at 185ish. I didn't feel good anymore. I hate having my pictures taken in general, but I hated it even more when I wasn't comfortable in my clothes. I felt sluggish and uncomfortable, and I knew it was time to make a change.

To date, I've lost more than 20lbs, and Colt has lost nearly 40. (It's ridiculous, I know.) I couldn't be more proud of the both of us. While we both are still working to reach weight-loss goals, the progress we've made so far has been pretty freaking awesome, if I can say so without seeming like a total braggart. Like I said before, it's not about the numbers, it's about feeling good in our own bodies. And we're certainly feeling much, much better.


  1. Woo-hoo! Way to go, guys! :D
    As corny as it sounds, you are both beautiful inside and out! Always have been.
    (Btw, I envy those muscular legs of yours.)

  2. Somehow I completely missed your detox post...
    Congrats on all of your progress!! That's awesome!! I wish I could dive into a diet type program, but sadly that is a no go, at least until I wean Lawson. So, it's baby steps for me. :)

    And, I agree with Erica, beautiful, inside and out. <3

  3. What an inspiring post! You are doing so well! I wish I could figure out how to kick my butt in gear and start to make my body feel more like "me" again!

  4. Thank you all so much for your sweet comments! Made me smile. <3

    Annika-I find it's really helped having Colt as a partner in this; he keeps me motivated.

  5. hooray, murtis! i'm proud of both of you and your motivation. :)

  6. When I do the cardio punches, I pretend I'm punching Jillian Michaels in the face. It helps.

    Yay for health and fitness! I fear mine has been somewhat delayed by school and numerous houseguests in a row.

  7. That is an amazing idea, Jen! :D